"But, the grass ain't always greener on the other side, it's green where you water it"

Every time I'm single, it sucks. I really don't enjoy being single but with the bad always comes the good. From my experience this time, I think it's really important for people to take time and reflect on themselves. When you're in a relationship, you get so caught up in constantly worrying about what the other person thinks and you never have enough time for yourself. When you are single, you only have yourself to worry about.

It's definitely refreshing. This time I am really starting to understand who I am. Learning from previous relationships is important. I'm learning how to take care of myself and define my own interests. In my eyes, this is not a time to be wasted. The next person that deserves the commitment I make in a relationship has to be a ten. No nines, no eights, none of that. I'm coming to an age where dating shouldn't be taken lightly.

It's funny how that works though. In high school, everyone says they don't want to date because it will never last. In college, many people date but most relationships don't work out. Post college, this is where there isn't anything holding us back anymore. You are allowed to be whoever you wish to be. You have the freedom to pick how to live your life.

I'm not saying that the next person I end up in a relationship with is someone I marry but I really hope so. With that said, maybe that is why I'm not enjoying some parts of my single life. I feel like it's a struggle to find someone worth my time. My time right now isn't for my fraternity, it isn't for a girl, it isn't for school. My time right now is for me and only me. My time right now is for hip hop classes and workshops. It is for working towards getting my motorcycle license and my own bike. My time right now is for getting better at dealing with customers and situations at work to become a manger one day. My time right now is for reading books that will better myself in all aspects of life. My time right now is learning to be responsible and self accountable.

I'll tell you in advance, Miss Right, I'm looking for you to not take over my life as I know it. I'm looking for you to add to my life. I want you to be another great thing on the list I already have. It might be asking for a lot but I promise you I have a lot to give. If you think you are capable of doing that, I will make you the happiest girl alive. I will continue to do that and never question if there's any other girl out there for me but you.

My Best Advice For The Age 20-Something

        I remember being really sad when I first graduated high school. Everything that I had known until that point in time was about to all change. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for it. All my friends were leaving for college and I thought I would have a hard time being as happy as I was young, wild, and free with every one that I had known my whole life. As fast as a blink of an eye, college came and gone. From my memory, my insecurities and worries about what college was suppose to be like dissipated really fast. At the time, it felt like eternity. College took me by a storm and it was great. Upon college graduation, those worries came rushing in and my insecurities got the best of me again.

Now that I’m nearly four months into the real world, working full-time, everything is starting to look a lot clearer. Opening my eyes to everything, I do see that a lot of my friends are either still in school, figuring out what they want to do and looking for a job, or working a job they aren’t too proud of. Select few are happy with where they ended up but for the most part, just from what I hear, everyone seems a little bit unhappy. I hate it. I’ve been itching to write this post to give everyone a little reassurance that whatever it is you are doing, it is okay and from here things just get better. We put a lot of expectations on ourselves and that is only going to bring us down. For the most part, our parents are the ones that are fueling this mentality and I don’t blame them for imposing what they know as the truth. I mean what else do we have to compare it to?

            The real truth is that every generation is different. This generation, we’re living in a piss poor economy and divorce rates are higher than ever. What that means is that it is okay that you’re having trouble finding a job. It is okay that you’re taking a little bit longer than expected to finish college. It is okay that you’re a girl turning 25 and still single. The more we force upon ourselves to be where we think we should be, the harder it is to attain these unrealistic goals.
Relieve yourself of all this pressure nonsense and take your time to do what you want to do. The longer you spend thinking about where you want to take your career, when you figure it out, everything  will feel like second nature. Your days at work will go by much faster. The longer you spend looking for someone to settle down with, the less likely you’ll end up in the 50% of the unhappily divorced population.

            Just keep in mind that every chapter of your life, there is always something new and great that will be offered. You just have to take your time to find your place and figure what it is that makes you happy. High school was amazing, college was amazing, and the rest of your life is going to be the same. Now with modern medicine, we all have a little bit more time too.
Before you know it, you'll be happily married, making six figures, and will have tons of vacation days racked up. Everything will make sense and you'll understand the full extent of your purpose in life. This is an ideal goal and very attainable. I promise you that once you get there, you'll wish you had more age 20-something days left to live. Just remember that we are also brought up in a generation where yolo is the motto. Don't forget it because you really only do live once.

I haven't blogged in more than a year and now I return. Looking and reading all these past posts, I see a lot of personal growth in myself. I have come a long way from 2010 to 2011. What brought me back to typing out my feelings onto a computer screen for people to read was that I've come to a realization that I want to be better than I am.

I've come to a point in my life where I can say "Hey I like where I'm at and I'll be comfortable here" but to be honest... that's not me. I've spent the past year thinking about blogging and I realized that I've ran away from the unsatisfied problems I face. I need to write how I feel to feel what it is that I need to feel.

I want to tell myself that I want and need to strive for a better tomorrow. Better in everything. Relationships, family, school, hobbies, health..... it's all there.

Don't ever lose the fight

We could do it real big, bigger than you ever done it.

"its you and me against the world"

when it comes down to it, I know for a fact that I'm a dreamer. I love watching movies. Somehow believe that maybe one day I can look back at my own life thinking that I was the star of my own feature film. I'd be the main character for the story of my life. idealistically, you'd be the love interest.

a girl that tries so hard to not believe it but deep down inside knows that she wants to be the princess in her own fairytale. hoping one day prince charming will come and take her away.

a guy that'd give her a box of your favorite chocolates and roses for valentine's day. tell you he loves you and how your the only one for me. knowing exactly what to say and when to say it for you to smile the way you do.

realistically I wish I could be prince charming but I am not in the fairytale of your life. you'll continue in the story of my life as being just my dream girl.

There's a million people in the world, the chances of me just getting a glance at someone and never seeing them again in my life is really probable. What I find crazy is when I get a glance at someone and somehow I meet them later down the line. Little miracles like this have happened. I can't believe it myself. Maybe some friends, significant others, best friends are just meant to be. I like that thought.

I'm still fly, I'm sky high

My blogs lately have been cupcake-y as fuck. I bet whoever reads it asks the same question I ask myself, whats getting at me? I spent a great amount of time thinking about this and the truth is....


I've been single for the past two years and that has got to be the longest time ever. It doesn't bother me because I wanted this, I wanted to prove to myself that I can be my own person and I don't need a girl to be happy.

What really does bother me though is when I watch all my friends with their girlfriends or boyfriends. Smiling at each other, holding hands, talking on the for phone hours (still feeling as if its not enough time), and ALL that cupcake shit.

Proving to myself that I can be happy single led me to learn something new about myself. I look at my friends with their significant others and I look at the guys that can get any girl they want. If I had to choose, I'd rather be with just one girl.

I could care less about bragging about all the girls I've slept with. Its just not me. I miss having that one person I can call at any hour of the night and just vent about how much I miss her. But missing the feeling isn't enough.

For me, to grab any girl and pretend like I have those kinds of feelings for her doesn't work. In a relationship, I don't think with my head... I think with my heart. My emotions are the catalysts of my decisions. It leads to good and bad but its sincere. The sincerity makes the what feels like a lot of effort in a fake relationship feel like nothing.

I've been looking but its not happening. Maybe I'm more careful and clear cut about what I'm looking for, I haven't met the right girl Maybe I'm not in the mental mindset for a relationship. Whatever it is, its killing me but I know that once I get over this feeling of being incomplete.. I'll find someone. That's usually how it works right?