"But, the grass ain't always greener on the other side, it's green where you water it"

Every time I'm single, it sucks. I really don't enjoy being single but with the bad always comes the good. From my experience this time, I think it's really important for people to take time and reflect on themselves. When you're in a relationship, you get so caught up in constantly worrying about what the other person thinks and you never have enough time for yourself. When you are single, you only have yourself to worry about.

It's definitely refreshing. This time I am really starting to understand who I am. Learning from previous relationships is important. I'm learning how to take care of myself and define my own interests. In my eyes, this is not a time to be wasted. The next person that deserves the commitment I make in a relationship has to be a ten. No nines, no eights, none of that. I'm coming to an age where dating shouldn't be taken lightly.

It's funny how that works though. In high school, everyone says they don't want to date because it will never last. In college, many people date but most relationships don't work out. Post college, this is where there isn't anything holding us back anymore. You are allowed to be whoever you wish to be. You have the freedom to pick how to live your life.

I'm not saying that the next person I end up in a relationship with is someone I marry but I really hope so. With that said, maybe that is why I'm not enjoying some parts of my single life. I feel like it's a struggle to find someone worth my time. My time right now isn't for my fraternity, it isn't for a girl, it isn't for school. My time right now is for me and only me. My time right now is for hip hop classes and workshops. It is for working towards getting my motorcycle license and my own bike. My time right now is for getting better at dealing with customers and situations at work to become a manger one day. My time right now is for reading books that will better myself in all aspects of life. My time right now is learning to be responsible and self accountable.

I'll tell you in advance, Miss Right, I'm looking for you to not take over my life as I know it. I'm looking for you to add to my life. I want you to be another great thing on the list I already have. It might be asking for a lot but I promise you I have a lot to give. If you think you are capable of doing that, I will make you the happiest girl alive. I will continue to do that and never question if there's any other girl out there for me but you.

My Best Advice For The Age 20-Something

        I remember being really sad when I first graduated high school. Everything that I had known until that point in time was about to all change. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for it. All my friends were leaving for college and I thought I would have a hard time being as happy as I was young, wild, and free with every one that I had known my whole life. As fast as a blink of an eye, college came and gone. From my memory, my insecurities and worries about what college was suppose to be like dissipated really fast. At the time, it felt like eternity. College took me by a storm and it was great. Upon college graduation, those worries came rushing in and my insecurities got the best of me again.

Now that I’m nearly four months into the real world, working full-time, everything is starting to look a lot clearer. Opening my eyes to everything, I do see that a lot of my friends are either still in school, figuring out what they want to do and looking for a job, or working a job they aren’t too proud of. Select few are happy with where they ended up but for the most part, just from what I hear, everyone seems a little bit unhappy. I hate it. I’ve been itching to write this post to give everyone a little reassurance that whatever it is you are doing, it is okay and from here things just get better. We put a lot of expectations on ourselves and that is only going to bring us down. For the most part, our parents are the ones that are fueling this mentality and I don’t blame them for imposing what they know as the truth. I mean what else do we have to compare it to?

            The real truth is that every generation is different. This generation, we’re living in a piss poor economy and divorce rates are higher than ever. What that means is that it is okay that you’re having trouble finding a job. It is okay that you’re taking a little bit longer than expected to finish college. It is okay that you’re a girl turning 25 and still single. The more we force upon ourselves to be where we think we should be, the harder it is to attain these unrealistic goals.
Relieve yourself of all this pressure nonsense and take your time to do what you want to do. The longer you spend thinking about where you want to take your career, when you figure it out, everything  will feel like second nature. Your days at work will go by much faster. The longer you spend looking for someone to settle down with, the less likely you’ll end up in the 50% of the unhappily divorced population.

            Just keep in mind that every chapter of your life, there is always something new and great that will be offered. You just have to take your time to find your place and figure what it is that makes you happy. High school was amazing, college was amazing, and the rest of your life is going to be the same. Now with modern medicine, we all have a little bit more time too.
Before you know it, you'll be happily married, making six figures, and will have tons of vacation days racked up. Everything will make sense and you'll understand the full extent of your purpose in life. This is an ideal goal and very attainable. I promise you that once you get there, you'll wish you had more age 20-something days left to live. Just remember that we are also brought up in a generation where yolo is the motto. Don't forget it because you really only do live once.